Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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