Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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