They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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