it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
