Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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