he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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