Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
