Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
