just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
