i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
