pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
