I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
