happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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