I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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