It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize