I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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