Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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