Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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