i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
