Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

Fav 36 5026 2111
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(480): View more from Arizona

A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

oh my god i'm in a crawl space

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(503): View more from Oregon

We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

Fav 12 3693 1276
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(310): View more from California

Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.

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