Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
