Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
