well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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