He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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