yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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