That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
