I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
