dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
