last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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