I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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