Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
