Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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