Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Green mimosas i think yes
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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