They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
