they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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