i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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