I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
