those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
