My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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