you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
