Screwed.edu
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
