left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
