Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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