we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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