Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
