Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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