Me. At least after what I've been through.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
