I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
