I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
