Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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