The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
