Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
