You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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