Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Randomize
