Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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