my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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