Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
