i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
