do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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