The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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