You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
